20 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

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  I was sprayed by a skunk.
  I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
  My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
  I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
  I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
  I couldn’t find my shoes.
  I hurt myself bowling.
  I was spit on by a venomous snake.
  I totaled my wife’s jeep in a collision with a cow.
  A hitman was looking for me.
  My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
  I eloped.
  My brain went to sleep and I couldn’t wake it up.
  My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
  I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.
  I had to ship my grandmother’s bones to India.
  I forgot what day of the week it was.
  Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
  A tree fell on my car.
  My monkey died.

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